I\u2019m not the best at reporting on events as they happen. Conferences, meetings, and conversations often don\u2019t \u201csink in\u201d until later\u2014they come back to me in my thoughts, in my work, or in the courtroom waiting room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In December, I attended the Shared Parenting Conference Lisbon 2025, dedicated to family relationships after separation. One of the presentations\u2014by Prof. Edward Kruk, who has been researching the impact of various forms of a child\u2019s separation from loved ones since the summer\u2014particularly stuck with me because it addressed alienation, but not between parents. It was about grandparents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The research and discussions highlighted something that is very common in practice: after parents separate, it is the grandparents who lose contact with their grandchildren. Not because the relationship is harmful to the child, but because they become \u201cpart of the opposing side.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meanwhile\u2014despite its many flaws\u2014Polish family law recognizes grandparents\u2019 right to contact with their grandchildren (and grandchildren\u2019s right to contact with their grandparents, of course). Grandparents are not just a helping hand with childcare or a holiday addition to family life. Very often, they are a safe haven\u2014a person outside the conflict, with whom the child does not have to choose sides or protect anyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
During the same conference, Prof. Maria Filomena Gaspar emphasized how important it is, in cases of children\u2019s loyalty conflicts, to ensure that the child has an adult in their circle of loved ones who is not involved in the parents\u2019 dispute. Grandparents\u2014even though they may seem to be on one side\u2014can often create just such a space: calm, stable, and based on love for their grandchild, rather than on adult conflict.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We forget that children are not the property of their parents. They have the right to a relationship with their grandparents\u2014regardless of the nature of the relationship between the adults. And every good, safe person in a child\u2019s life enriches it; such a person can be of immense importance to the child\u2019s mental health and development, especially during a family crisis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If parents object to grandparents\u2019 contact with the children, the family court can be involved in the dispute. If contact with the grandchildren was regular before the separation, the court will likely recognize the value of this relationship and protect it. Even if the grandparents have not seen their grandchild before\u2014and in cases of severe alienation, this is often the case\u2014it does not negate the grandparents\u2019 right to establish contact with their grandchild, though it requires a careful, gradual plan for building the relationship that will strengthen the child rather than create additional tension.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is much to criticize about our family law system, but in this one area, it recognizes something very important: a child is not the property of the parents. And grandparents are important\u2014and they have their own rights.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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